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Goodbye My Lover! – Ruiz’s Hysterectomy Story

I always had pain with my periods. I started mine when I was 10. I had painful sex. I put up with it, even had problems having my children. But, at the age of 34, I began having a swollen stomach, became iron deficient and suffered shortness of breath.

I saw a doctor recommend by my obstetrician and he said that I had endometriosis and you have three kids do you want more? I didn’t, I was tired of hurting and he said OK, he’d just take out the uterus, one ovary and the cervix and all would be ok. The best was that the endometriosis would go away.

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10/16/06 Was my surgery date and four days later I began to have severe back pain. coughing and sneezing would leak urine! He sent me back to work two weeks later and all of my stuff dropped. Yes bladder, bowels and vaginal cuff; it was a prolapse!

He checked me at six weeks and said all is OK! I told him my husband didn’t want sex any more and he said well you don’t have sex with the uterus! I told him I had no feeling and he said it was in my head!

My job fired me, and my husband wouldn’t speak to me. He acted like I didn’t deserve to breath! So in 2008 I had reconstructive surgery and my doctor told me never to lift over three pounds or stand longer than an hour! I haven’t worked in so long and thank God for my son who took care of me. He gave me my meds and encouraged me to stay strong. Not many 16 year old boys sleep on the floor by their mothers bed and run to get me water or what I needed!

I have a grandson now. He is 14 months old and it hurts so bad that I can’t pick him up, hold him or take him to the park! I lost a lot I loved my husband so much but he just turned his back on me and left!

Today I’m 41 years old and I suffer in so many ways. I cry a lot I’m so mad endometriosis doesn’t ever go away, but the doctor told me it would. He said it will all be no more!

Every day I deal with this fear that if my bladder, bowels or vaginal cuff comes down what do I do? I have no money; I lost my home, my job, my husband and a nurse said well we can always just sew you up just like we do with the old ladies!

I’m not old, I’m not a freak! I want so desperately to not have had this surgery. I have thyroid disease and now my skin is wrinkled and my breasts just went south! My big butt is a flat butt. I can’t take hormones, I have chest pain and red spots on my legs! All this for what? I lost a lot!

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in my own words book coverNow available on our online store and all other online book store’s. In My Own Words: Women’s Experience of Hysterectomy is full of many other real-life stories from women the world over.

Other people’s stories help women feel less isolated. They show that they aren’t going mad, missing the point or stupid.

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Linda Parkinson-Hardman

Transformational coach and founder of the Hysterectomy Association. Professionally I'm an information scientist who specialises in the adoption and engagement of digital technologies. I am a writer and author of nine books to date, and I've edited a further seven; phew what a lot for a Thursday afternoon :-)

This Post Has 3 Comments
  1. Omg all these horror stories, I’ve just been diagnosed with rectocele and cystocele prolapse, allthough I’ve had a prolapse for years , I didn’t investigate really until recently when I had my last cervical smear test. Then thers the painful stretching feeling in my vagina when penetrative sex is attempted with my husband., and the hard to empty bowel movement.

    Sadly sounds just like the other ladies posts, I’m fit and active and I am 65 next May, used to a good sex life with my husband, whom is much younger than me, I might add that he doesn’t want me to have the opp, but I think different, going my GP 7th Nov 2013, I will post after the appointment.

  2. Ruiz, this sounds horrendous ! I feel so sorry for you. I cannot believe how soon the advice is to return to work after such a huge operation. I am guessing you are int he United States. In the UK we are recommended at least 12 weeks before returning to work although some do return sooner. I had a total hysterectomy in October 2012 and I am still not recovered. I did try to go back after 11 weeks but was crawling from the car to the house at the end of the day in agony. I am in pain, emotional and worried about my job security too as I am also a single parent. I have just discovered the Kegel-8 machine which helps to exercise the pelvic floor and the reviews are good that it can help reverse prolapses. I have bought one and will let you know if it works. I hope you can get some help, it sounds like a desperate situation. I hope you can find some positives but I agree that we were not prepared for the trauma and lack of help post op it is all such a huge shock emotionally and physically.

  3. oh my goodness Ruiz, I am very sorry indeed to hear your story, I am afraid to say your surgeon sounds awful, i am due to have this surgery on Friday and thank goodness I have alot of faith in my surgeon, all the best…

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