Friday Fictioneer’s – Torn Flesh Rendered Mute

This post is for the weekly challenge set by Madison Woods called Friday Fictioneers. The idea is that you submit a 100 word flash fiction story that is associated with the picture challenge added the previous Wednesday. You can find out more, and see the picture, on Madison’s Blog here: http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/barbed-wire-and-bulls/

Soft flesh yielded to the impact, pain slamming through the densely packed nerve endings resulted in a long, low moan of fear combined with raw and visceral agony.

She could hear music; it covered the sound of her so completely that they were clueless as to her state of awareness. Ravel’s ‘Bolero’ matched the growing sense of panic she was powerless to do anything about. Each note hit another nerve; each development in crescendo marked a further increase in their torture of her body. Barbed wire was being scraped across her internal organs.

“We’re in … scalpel please nurse.”

Linda Parkinson-Hardman

Transformational counsellor, coach and women's health advocate. Professionally I'm an information scientist who specialises in change management, culture change and adoption of digital technologies in large enterprises and organisations. I am a writer and author of nine books to date, and I've edited a further seven; phew what a lot for a Thursday afternoon :-)

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24 Responses

  1. Linda says:

    Why thank you kindly 🙂

  2. tedstrutz says:

    Nice.

  3. Linda says:

    Thanks Janet 🙂

  4. Linda says:

    Oooh, you’ve given me a good idea now as I’d never thought I could write anything like horror, thanks 🙂

  5. Linda says:

    I think that seems to have been consistent across the comments, none of us would have liked to have been in this situation.

  6. Linda says:

    Thanks Madison, I think I’ll stay a while too – it was fun coming up with something. 🙂

  7. Linda says:

    I know what you mean 🙁

  8. Linda says:

    Oh dear, I hope you were ok over the weekend 🙂

  9. V.L. Gregory says:

    Arrrrgh! I’ll have nightmares with this one! I’ve always had a fear of surgery–this is one of the reasons. Well written–I felt each slice.

    Mine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html

  10. Sonia Lal says:

    ohh sounds painful. Poor girl.

  11. Madison Woods says:

    Oh my. I knew there was good reason to stay away from the operating tables! That was a nightmare worthy story. Glad you joined us 🙂

  12. Robert says:

    The description of pain in your story was just about perfect. I shuddered more than a bit while reading it, not envying the character.

    Here’s my (also pain-filled) story at http://the-drabbler.com/trespass/

  13. siobhanmuir says:

    Great setup for a horror story. It set my teeth on edge. Well done. 🙂

    Here’s mine:
    http://siobhanmuir.blogspot.com/2012/04/another-200-words-for-fridayfictioneers.html

    Siobhan

  14. Linda says:

    I’d hate to be in the situation she find’s herself in too 🙁

  15. Linda says:

    Wow, what a fab comment and thank you. Have you ever known it happen to someone?

  16. Janet says:

    Great take on the prompt. Can’t imagine feeling like that poor woman.

    Here’s mine: http://postcardfiction.com/2012/04/27/scraped/

  17. elmowrites says:

    This week has been a weak of dark stories, but this one, for me, was the most difficult to read. I’m sure we all fear this happening to us or someone we love. I’m still shuddering. You convey the sensations beautifully, and horrifically!

    I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/friday-fiction-soul-memories/

  18. Linda says:

    Thanks for the fab comment, I really appreciate it and it happens more often than we would wish it too I think …!

  19. Linda says:

    Thanks so much Stacey, glad you liked it.

  20. TheOthers1 says:

    Oh gosh. Poor girl. One of those people who wakes during surgery or aren’t knocked out completely. There is something horrifying about the possibility of this happening and feeling everything. Nice job.

    My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/04/26/sharp/

  21. Stacey says:

    Wow — very interesting take on barbed wire. And very strong imagery. I enjoyed it 🙂

  22. Linda says:

    Thanks guys, I appreciate the comments and I’ve heard many tales of what happens when the anaesthesia doesn’t work ….! I shall go and check you out too 🙂

  23. JKBradley says:

    We need more Propofol! What a nightmare, being paralized by general anesthetic, yet feeling the steel.

    Here’s mine: http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/

  24. Sandra says:

    Anaesthetic didn’t work then? Tell me about it… Powerful description of unremitting pain here. Well done.

    Mine’s at: http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/trespass/

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